


5,000 Steps

by EvertheOptimistWaywardAF



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archangels, Baby Jack Kline, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Dean Winchester Gets Therapy, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Dean Winchester, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Winchesters (Supernatural), Jack Kline is a Winchester, M/M, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Multi, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:21:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF/pseuds/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF
Summary: Dean, Sam, and Cas were hoping that their lives were going to get easier after they saved the multiverse, but sadly, nothing ever goes as planned. When Jack falls ill, the trio must work together to help him recover and face the ghosts of his past.Also, Jack is a baby now. And they have to go to family therapy.
Relationships: Destiel, saileen
Comments: 11
Kudos: 44





	1. Home Again

It wasn’t exactly a soft way of falling. It was like plunging into boiling water, the feathers floating up toward the sun, turning black in the light. It was transformation, the good bits that had been left of him flaking away. He remembered the burning sand, the beautiful oasis in the middle of a scorching desert. He remembered Eve, a naive young girl… she had been so silly, so weak. She really hadn’t been hard to tempt. It was just a silly fruit, after all.  
The darkness surrounded him now, in a free fall into the abyss. He struggled for something to grab onto, his weak arms outstretched, grasping at the non-existent walls as he fell deeper and deeper into the darkness. He had given Eve the key to magic, the power to create monsters… and all she had done was betray him. She told Adam, and of course, Adam had told on him to daddy. Now both he and Eve were on the shit list.   
He prayed for the end, and it came, a cage closing in around him. He looked up toward the light in the distance, an imaginary light that only he could see. He knew that God had planned this. There was no way he would’ve planted that tree there if he hadn’t wanted Lucifer to help the humans eat it. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise. They would follow through with the writings, get all the way to the end, and he would face Michael. And right before Michael would kill him, then God would appear and explain the meaning of this… explain what He wanted from Lucifer and Michael, and everything would be fine. It would all be fine. It would all be fine. 

Billions of Years Later

“SAM!” A voice called. Sam looked around, the waves crashing gently on the beach. He felt hiraeth, as if he had been to this beach so long ago. The sand was soft under his feet as he walked toward the sound of the voice. He began to walk faster, a feeling of dread filling his chest. “SAM! SAM, HELP!”  
“I’M- I’M ON MY WAY!” Sam yelled. His feet were pounding on the ground, his heart racing. Just a little farther… just a little… the ground was gone. He was falling. Falling. Falling into darkness. He couldn’t breathe. His lungs burst in pain as he slammed onto metal bars. He could see the person he had been running to, so small and pale.   
“Jack, Jack… get up… get up,” Sam said weakly.   
“Nice try, Sam, but you’re never escaping this. You’ll always be too late,” Lucifer’s voice rang out behind him. Sam felt his heart stop.   
“SAM! SAM!” Dean yelled. Sam opened his eyes, looking up into Dean’s worried face. He felt cold sweat run down his forehead. “Sam… you…”  
“What?” Sam asked, sitting up. He remembered the dream vividly. It wasn’t the first time he had that dream. It wouldn’t be the last.   
“You were screaming your head off,” Dean said. “Full on psycho, man.”   
“Wha- what did I say?”  
“You were trying to get somewhere and then you just started screaming… that’s when I got here, and you were pretty much going exorcist in here. Then… then you were pleading with somebody….”  
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”  
“Sam, we need to talk about this-”  
“We don’t,” Sam said, waving his hand. “It’s 2 already. I’ll go get on the police scanner, try to get us a case.”  
“Sam, you barely slept-”  
“I’m fine, Dean,” Sam said angrily. “I’m perfectly fine.”  
“Fine,” Dean said, unconvinced. “Cas and Jack are on their way back from Maine. Apparently they caught a killer clown annoying a group of people, eating arms and shit. They handled it...for now. We might need to do another checkup in a couple of years. The psychic wasn’t totally sure it’s gone just yet.”  
“Oh,” Sam sighed.   
“Yeah, they’re even taking a plane back because neither of them are on the no-fly list. Yet,” Dean shrugged. “And I hate planes.”  
“Alright. Keep me posted,” Sam said wearily. He got up and walked into the hallway to be met by Rowena with curlers in her hair, a begrudging look on her face.   
“Sam,” She said, annoyed. “I need beauty rest.”  
“Go back to sleep then,” He smiled. She glared at him, sizing him up.  
“Go to therapy!”  
“Never,” Sam replied. Rowena gave him a small smile, then walked away, giving Dean an exhausted wave as she went back to bed.   
“It sucks that they burned down her apartment.”  
“Demons never rest,” Sam sighed. He went to go find a cup of coffee, hoping his day was going to get a tiny bit better.

“And he was like: ARRRGGGH! And Cas was like: SWISH! And we scared him off! I doubt he’ll come back now!” Jack said. “Youshouldaseencashewaslike- BLAM!”   
“Sounds like you two had fun,” Dean said.   
“I think the psychic… fancied me,” Castiel said awkwardly.   
“Ooh, give me the deets,” Rowena said, leaning over the table. “Was he… fiiiiiiirm?”  
“I guess?”  
“ANYWAYS, Jack, tell me more about how Cas fought the clown,” Dean said loudly.   
“Well, the clown was super scary, so Cas did the thing where he spins his blade and tossed it at it! The clown was like: Not today! And it totally ducked Cas’s attack! Then Cas didn’t have a blade, so he jumped on the clown and tried to hold him back while I activated the trap we built for it- but the spell backfired! The clown was distracted by me and went to go kill me because I got hurt but then Cas jumped up behind him with a FLAME THROWER! And then…. Then… uh…”  
“Then the clown was sent back to it’s realm and I healed Jack’s arm,” Cas said. Jack nodded, pulling his sleeve up.  
“Are you sure?” Dean asked. “Because that doesn’t look healed, Cas.”  
“Oh-” Cas stood up, knocking his chair over. He rushed around the table to look at Jack’s arm, holding it carefully in his hands. “How did that come back?”  
“I don’t feel it,” Jack said nervously, looking at the burn on his arm.   
“You don’t feel it at all?” Cas asked softly.   
“No,” Jack said. “It kind of feels cool, actually.”  
“What spell did you use?” Rowena frowned. “An angelic healing should heal a curse wound as long as the original spell has been broken. You broke the curse, correct?”  
“Of course we did,” Jack said. He looked to Cas, who nodded.   
“Rowena, that curse was broken. I know the risks of witchcraft.”  
“What made the spell go wrong?” Rowena asked. Cas looked to Jack, concerned.   
“I followed all of the instructions,” Jack said. “I promise, it was just… random.”   
“Darling, magic is not random,” Rowena said softly. “Tell me everything you did for this spell. Don’t leave anything out.”  
“The ingredients were a phoenix feather, the blood of the caster, the hair of a pureblood werewolf, water from the dead sea, and crushed tumeric roots. Mix everything together in that order on a full moon, let sit for a night, and then paint the shape of the cage you’d like to create on the floor with the trap symbol in the center.”  
“And you did all of those things?”  
“Yes. I helped him, Rowena,” Cas said softly. “We did everything right.”  
“If there’s not something wrong with the spell, there may be something wrong with the caster,” Rowena said. Jack closed his eyes, fighting back tears. “You… you wouldn’t know anything about that, Jack, would you?”  
“No. There’s nothing wrong with me. Nothing that’s changed since I last did magic,” Jack said, confused. “It’s never been like this before.”  
“I’d like to see your preform a spell. Nice and easy. What about Root’s Incantation?”  
“That’s easy,” Jack said. Dean raised his eyebrows.   
“Are we sure it’s safe?” Dean asked.   
“Root’s Incantation is a growing spell. All we need is a small plant and a basic spellbook. It’s the type of spell I knew at the age of three,” Rowena smiled. “If anything bad happens, it will be rather minor compared to the burns he got from the last spell.”   
“Alright, but if we end up like Shop of Horrors, it’s on you to feed it,” Dean said angrily. Sam watched them silently, not sure what to do. His mind kept going back to his nightmare. A few minutes later they were all gathered outside around a little pine tree Jack had found.   
“Looks like you’re set,” Rowena smiled. Jack smiled back. He sat in front of the tree, taking in the fresh air.   
“Et florebit quasi lilium flos muros hos instauraretis, et... ” Jack’s voice faded away. There was a moment of silence when Sam, Dean, and Cas looked questioningly at Rowena, and she looked back at them, confused.   
“Jack… are you alright?” Rowena tapped his shoulder. Jack opened his eyes.   
“Czuję coś we mnie,” Jack muttered.   
“What did he say?” Sam asked. Rowena looked at him, her mouth open.   
“I don’t know,” She said. “I’ve never heard that before.”  
They all looked to Cas, who looked at them, a heavy look in his eyes.   
“Jack is speaking Polish,” He replied.   
“Where the fuck did he learn Polish?” Dean asked. Cas looked at him quietly.   
“He doesn’t know Polish.”  
“What did he say?”   
“I’m not sure,” Castiel said.   
“How can you not be sure?”  
“It’s not… right. It’s nonsense,” Cas said. “He said that he’s inside.”   
“Inside what?”  
“I don’t know. Jack didn’t elaborate,” Cas said. They all looked at Jack. He stared back, a curious look on his face.   
“Hel… p,” Jack said, his face blank. He collapsed. Sam rushed toward him, a terrible feeling in his gut. 

“Jack slept through the night,” Cas said gently. “He’s awake now. Rowena thinks that maybe Jack was just distracted during the original spell and he was effected by it backfiring, but that maybe the strangeness is really just about that, and not about anything else. It should fade in a short amount of time, and he’ll be back.”  
“Why is he so pale then?” Dean’s voice echoed in the hallway. Sam sat against the wooden door, his legs tucked to his chest. “And why was he speaking a language he never learned.”   
“Well, some of the signs were connected to possession… and we thought maybe ‘he’s inside’ wasn’t Jack but rather a demon, but we tried every test and we just can’t confirm this to be possession. It’s more likely that he’s just recovering from the accident,” Rowena said.   
“Yeah, what about the inside thing?” Dean asked. “Did he say anything else?”  
“He hasn’t spoken at all. Sam was here the last time he was awake, but he went to bed,” Castiel said. “Sam didn’t mention anything strange.”  
“Sam had another nightmare. Maybe it’s connected? I mean, he had it at the same time the spell backfired, right?”   
“The events happened so far apart. Sam would have to have an immense psychic ability to get a message from so far away.”   
“He used to get visions,” Dean said. Sam closed his eyes, listening closely, wondering what Dean would say. He had thought the same things as they had- that it was impossible, but also somehow connected… it was… strange. But he didn’t want it to be true. It couldn’t be true.

“Goodnight, love…”  
“Dean, take your brother and run! GO! NOW!”

Sam woke with a jolt. He was still sitting in the hallway. While he was asleep, someone had placed a blanket over him. He looked around, his back and neck sore. He looked down the hallway and felt a small jolt, waking up.   
“Jack?” Sam asked softly. Jack was sitting nearby, his legs crossed, a morose look on his face. “Jack, what’re you doing?”  
“I’m not supposed to be out of bed,” Jack said. “I heard the whole thing about your visions. I didn’t know you were psychic.”  
“Jack, I don’t see anything anymore. It’s gone. It’s been gone for a long time.”   
“I want to try,” Jack said, looking at his hands.   
“It’s not safe,” Sam said nervously. “You’re not well.”  
“Give me the chance,” Jack said. “I’ll just find out if you’re psychic.”  
“There are things in my head that you can’t see.”  
“I can see everything if you let me.”  
“That’s the point. I don’t want you to see what’s in my head, Jack,” Sam said. “I’m happy that my powers are gone. I’m happier, Jack.”   
“Don’t you want the nightmares to end?” Jack asked. Sam stared at him, then looked away. “I can help you.”  
“No. That’s final, Jack,” Sam said. Jack looked away quietly, his arms crossed over his chest. “It’s not about you. It’s about me.”   
"Will we find a cure for my arm?" Jack asked quietly. Sam smiled.   
"I know we will."


	2. Love is Three Dads, Two Aunts, and Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Sam, Dean, and Cas try to find a cure for Jack's mysterious illness, they continue about their everyday lives.

"Becky was right about the laundry. I love doing laundry," Dean said, watching the load turn in the washer. Sam sat on the dryer, reading a book on Enochian magic while Cas laid on the floor, thinking about life. They sat in silence for a few minutes, until the machine beeped and Dean opened the washer. Jack suddenly appeared.  
"Not yet," Dean said, grabbing the clothes and moving them to the dryer. "It still needs to dry."  
"I'd like my blanket back any day now," Jack said. Dean sighed.  
"Just wait. It'll be out soon." 

"So... I've found a cure," Rowena said. Dean was sitting on the table, chewing gum. Sam had a hopeful look on his face, setting his book down. They all went silent. "Yeah, now that I've got your attention, sadly, I've discovered the reason why Jack is ill. The injury is not physical. It's mental. Jack can't heal his arm because he simply doesn't understand how to heal or how to take care of himself and his trauma. It's... his inside, reflecting on his outside."  
"Do I take a potion?"  
"Darling boy, you need a week off," Rowena said. "You need to learn how to be a child."  
"What about Sam's visions?"  
"Due to Jack's stress, he's been picking up signals... like old memories, from long ago. Jack has been reading objects, much like a psychic, and transferring them to Sam. Therefore, the dream about Lucifer falling came from Jack interacting with something of Lucifer's. If this continues, the range of this will only grow until he's overwhelmed. He's going to lose control of his powers until he is able to express himself and recover from his childhood trauma. Essentially, what I'm saying is, you all need therapy."  
"What do you propose?"  
"Meet with Mia Vallens, and... let me do a spell that will help Jack in the meantime."  
"Okay," Jack said. "Let's do this."

"Rowena thinks she knows so much," Dean muttered, lifting the blankets out of the dryer. He walked back into the library, handing Jack his weighted blanket. Jack was sitting in the center of a circle of candles, his eyes shining in the light.  
"Thanks, Dean," Jack smiled.  
"This spell will reveal your true nature until you have stabilized enough to return to being a teenager," Rowena said. "Were you ever potty trained?"

"No." Jack said. Rowena sighed.   
"Here we go, I guess."  
The room flashed gold for a second, the candles glowing bright. Where Jack had been sitting only seconds ago was now a three-year-old child with blue eyes and a tuft of brown hair, a befuddled look on his face.   
"Oh, so that's what that does," Dean said. "That makes sense."


	3. Targeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three adult men and a baby go to Target, Sam teaches Jack meditation.

Day One.   
Dean woke up to the sound of crying in the early morning. After Rowena had cast the spell last night, Jack had promptly gone to sleep and they all had gone their seperate ways for the night, except Cas, who refused to leave his side. Dean yawned, checking the clock: Two AM. This better not be the rest of his life.   
“Shusssh, shush,” Cas said. He was holding baby Jack in one arm and a screwdriver in the other. A halfbuilt crib was lying on the ground, pieces still scattered around.   
“It’s only gonna be a week or so,” Dean yawned.   
“Jack’s tired. He’s cold. He needs a crib,” Cas snapped, setting Jack down on his blanket and jamming the leg into the frame. “We don’t even know if it’s really going to be a week, or if Jack will even want to turn back into an adult. It’s all up to whether or not we can help him.”   
“Cas, you’re awesome, but at least let me take Jack so you can finish the crib,” Dean sighed. Cas frowned, looking at Jack on the blanket. “He only has like one baby outfit. I’ll drive him around in the back seat and when the store opens, we’ll go there and buy some toys and clothes, alright?”   
“You’re being rather nice,” Cas said, frowning.   
“Look, I usually hate when Jack wakes me up, but I don’t think he really knows any better,” Dean said, picking Jack up from the blue blanket. “Do you think he’s hungry? Does he want cereal?”  
“Do babies drink coffee?”  
“Jack hates coffee and babies hate coffee so I’m going to assume that it’s a no. Not that I will ever understand it. He’ll drink tea if Rowena makes it,” Dean said. He paused. “Wait, do we even have a car seat?”   
Dean was used to getting strange looks, but he always knew to keep his head high. He ignored the faces of the weary retail workers as he carried a sleepy Jack into Target, Cas and Sam by his side, before the sun had even risen. He grabbed one of the carts with the baby seats, setting Jack down and strapping him in with his blanket.   
“Good morning,” Dean said. One of the redshirted employees gave him a halfhearted sigh. “Sorry, just gotta get some things.”   
“We look weird,” Sam said.  
“Yeah, because you have a freakin’ manbun.”  
“Jack pulls my hair,” Sam said, his hand protectively moving toward his shiny locks.   
“Stop aruging. We’ve got a few things to get. Baby food, baby toys, a car seat, baby clothes…”  
“So literally everything with baby in front of it.”  
“And diapers,” Castiel said. “Quickly.”  
“Don’t you wish you had saved all those diaper packs from North Cove?”  
“Dean, I think they’re still there.”   
Sam stared at Jack, rolling him eyes in the direction of Dean and Cas. Jack giggled.   
“Cas, please, can we focus?” Dean asked. Cas frowned, setting the tide pods back on the shelf.   
“Jack once ate one on a dare,” Cas said. He eyed baby Jack as if he was sending him a warning. Jack smiled, his small fingers wrapped around his blanket.   
“Wait, why didn’t I hear about that?” Dean complained.   
Once they had collected their supplies, they carted their objects to the cashier, who gave them a dull look. “Is that all?”  
“Yep, all of this!”  
“For three adult men,” The cashier said, holding up the Gerbers baby goo.   
“We have a baby,” Castiel said, picking Jack up to show him.   
“Okay,” The cashier sighed. “That’s 343.99 dollars. Would you like a receipt?”

“Jack, look at me,” Sam said. He was sitting crosslegged on the floor of the library, his hands resting on his knees. “Jack.”  
“Bleeeerrr,” Jack responded, drooling.   
“Jack, we’re going to meditate and look into our inner selves,” Sam said. “I’ve ready many books about self fullfillment and coping with PTSD, and I’ve learned that a great way to take care of yourself is to focus on your energy.”  
“Wahhrh,” Jack said, falling over on his blanket. Sam set him back up.   
“I know you can understand english, Jack,” Sam said. Jack looked at him guiltily, then went back to enjoying the goldfish toy. “Fine. Okay. I’ll meditate by myself. I always start with a deep breath in, and then I play this relaxing music.”   
“Just because he understands English doesn’t mean he understands everything, Sam,” Dean said. Sam opened one eye, annoyed.   
“Meditation is universal, Dean.”  
“Eileen can’t hear your stupid music, she doesn’t meditate, and she’s perfectly normal,” Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes and went back to meditating.   
“Speaking of Eileen, where is she?” Dean said. “I thought you two were official now.”  
“Hurr durr,” Sam muttered.  
“So, what? You’re not together?”  
“We’re just opposites. Eileen likes to take life dangerous and fast and I like to meditate,” Sam said. “Except when it comes to our relationship, where I’m ready to dive in for the first time and she’s been out hunting for a week because I asked her if we wanted to take the next step and she just wasn’t sure.”   
“Ouch.”  
“It’s a big ask,” Sam said. “I know. Especially for hunters, and she has the right to think about this. But when you and Cas finally made out, everyone was super happy.”   
“What? Did you talk about us?”  
“Everyone talks about you two. Donna sent me a voice message where she was crying because she was so happy you two finally got together,” Sam said. “But yeah, everyone was just so happy. It’s really rare when hunters kinda make it official, and everyone thought you were going to be single for life. Cas is great, man. Don’t take him for granted.”  
“I don’t,” Dean said. “I’ve learned not to.”   
“Did Mia get back to us?”  
“Yeah. We can meet her on Monday.”  
“So… three days,” Sam said, opening his eyes. He froze. “Um… Dean… where did Jack go?”


	4. Come On Eileen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romance and the Winchesters= Awkward

Dean was in the process of watching his life flash before his eyes as he looked under the table, around the shelves, and literally everywhere he could think of that Jack could have wandered off to.   
“Cas is gonna kill me,” He muttered. “I’m gonna get freakin’ smite'd.”   
“He’s gotta be somewhere,” Sam said, looking around worriedly. “He wouldn’t just vanish. Jack doesn’t-”  
“Oh,” Dean said, staring at Sam.  
“Are you hatching an egg in Pokemon Go?”  
“I hate you,” Dean said. “You know where Jack is.”  
“What? No, I don’t.”  
“Where’s Jack’s favorite place in the world?”  
“His… room?”   
“No, the kitchen. Jack was worried. He teleported to the kitchen,” Dean said. Sam blinked. “Really? Jack’s in there all the time.”  
“He is? He told me that Cas ate all the cereal,” Sam said. “Oh…”   
“Are you hatching a-”  
“Don’t you dare recycle that joke on me.”

“Yup.” Dean said. He pointed at Jack, who was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, a box of cereal on the floor next to him. “Jack has freakin’ powers still, and he used them to steal cereal.”   
“Sawry,” Jack said quietly, before shoving another handful of cereal in his face.  
“This is a three-year-old mastermind,” Dean said. Cas walked into the kitchen.   
“I don’t even want to know what this conversation is about,” Cas said, picking Jack up. Dean turned red.   
“I lost Jack but Dean found him and everything is fine,” Sam said quickly. Cas gave him a look and picked up the cereal box. “Also, yeah, Jack knows about three words right now. Sorry, thanks, and sonofabi-”  
“I don’t need to hear it,” Cas said. “Jack said it when his applesauce fell off the counter. I have absolutely no doubt as to who taught him that, but it’s okay, as long as we don’t teach him any other swear words for right now, okay?”   
“Alright, daddy,” Dean said. “I mean Dad-boss. I mean Alpha. I mean…shi-”   
“Dean, no.” Cas said. Dean gulped.   
“Yeah, I’m a bad father,” Dean said. Cas looked at him calmly, a hint of happiness in his eyes. He was thinking of something he found amusing.   
“You’re already ten times the father I had,” Cas said.   
“I mean, that’s fair, but also setting the bar low,” Dean said. “It would make me feel better if I was being compared to Jimmy or something.”  
“Jimmy is a thousand times the father you will ever be.”  
“Okay, calm down, Cas,” Dean said. “What about Sam?”  
“Sam is still a better father, but you’re the one I chose, daddy,” Cas smirked.  
“Jack and I will be heading out then,” Sam said quickly, taking Jack and rushing out of the kitchen as quickly as he could. He sat down in the library, staring at his computer. There was a missed voicemail from Eileen that had been sitting there for a few hours. He hadn’t answered when she had called. He wasn’t sure he was ready.   
“Hey Sam, it’s Eileen. Obviously. You can see me,” Eileen said. “I recorded this video before I left. I’m probably driving back to the Bunker now. I thought about what you said, about taking the next step. I was thinking about it on the hunt. I really want to talk about this in person, but yeah… I’m ready. For the next step. Obviously, I’m not joining Team Free Will or getting in your way or anything. I know that you and Dean and Cas kinda do your own thing, but I would like to be a bigger part of your life. So… yeah. Only, you’re not invited on my hunts. You can call me your girlfriend, but you are not allowed to kill my monsters. You’re the first person I’ve felt so open with. You’re smart, and you’re kind, and you’re just… you’re amazing, Sam, and I don’t want to ever let you go. Things… are tough, but… and we’ll talk, but… yeah, I love you. Bye.”   
“Bye,” Jack said softly. Sam blushed, having forgotten that Jack was sitting in his lap.   
“You better not remember any of this when you’re big again,” Sam said.

Day One- Over.


	5. Shades of Lemon

“Cas, I hope that you can hear me. That, wherever you are, it’s not too late. I should have stopped you. You’re my best friend, but I let you go because it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know it’s always been there and when things go bag, it just comes out. And I can’t stop it, no matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it. And I forgive you, of course I forgive you. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m so sorry it took me until now to say it. Cas, I’m sorry. I… I love you.”

Day Two. 

“Sunny… thank for the truth you let me see,” sang over the old radio in the Bunker. The sound of plates clinked in the kitchen. Dean flipped the pancakes, humming along to the music. Cas leaned against the counter, trenchcoatless, his arms crossed.   
“What’s wrong?”   
“Nothing,” Castiel said. He looked at the radio, his eyes softening and his lips parting. “I went to Boney M’s concert in 1979 on a mission to find a rebellous angel.”   
“So that’s where you were when I was born?” Dean laughed. His smile faded. “Man, you’re old.”  
“I am not a man,” Cas smiled. “And your grey hairs give you away just as much as mine do.”  
“Hey!” Dean said. “I’m youthful and beautiful! I may have a dad bod but it’s one cultivated from sexily eating hamburgers for 40 years!”   
“I’m aware,” Cas said. “You’re not the best role model for Jack.”   
“I don’t aspire to be a role model. I just aspire not to be an ass,” Dean said. He slid the pancake onto the pile of pancakes and stepped back, admiring his masterpiece.   
“I know that and I love you.”  
“Ahh you did the meme!”  
“Which meme?” Castiel frowned, tilting his head. Dean sighed.   
“It was in Jack’s meme presentation explaining some of his common phrases like ‘yeet’ and ‘noice’.”   
“Oh,” Cas said. “Yes, I remember. I learned a lot of helpful information to communicate with younger humans.”  
“Hey guys,” Sam said.   
“Whazzup bruh. Consuming a book? That’s lit rad, dude. What’s it about, yeet?” Cas said. Sam stared at him, concerned.   
“It’s Perfume, it’s about-”  
“Does it have any of the following: Murder, forgein language, historical fiction, or self-help?” Dean asked. Sam turned red.   
“Dean, not everything I read is about serial killers!” Sam said. “Just… most of it.”  
“Where’s Jack?”  
“He’s still asleep,” Sam said. “He’s very quiet. I had to check to make sure he was breathing. He’s just so quiet.”   
“Can Jack eat pancakes?” Dean asked. Sam shrugged. Cas typed into his phone.   
“Yes, babies can eat pancakes,” Cas said. Dean gave him the thumbs up. 

Cas walked into Jack’s room, looking at the new crib in the corner, with it’s light wood and pink embellishments. He leaned over the edge. Jack was still asleep, his mouth open slightly. Cas smiled. He had always envisioned Jack as a small baby, even when Jack transformed into a teenager. Jack would always be his little baby, and appearances would never change that. Cas gently touched his cheek and felt a shock, suddenly plummeting into a dream. 

“Castiel!” Someone said, their voice muffled. Cas was sitting on a rock, her long black hair flowing down her back as someone ran toward her. They spoke in Enochian, their words mumbling together, lost a long time ago. The younger Cas turned, looking at the red haired angel who was approaching. She smiled, reaching out. Cas pulled her up. They sat there, uncertain, watching the ocean, eyes fixed on the horizon.   
A sharp voice cut through the sound. “ANNA!”   
The young Castiel turned, her eyes wide, as Michael… as he had been all those years ago… running toward them. He pulled Castiel into the sand, her hand attempting to stop the fall. She laid there, in shock, as Michael yelled at Anna, and she did nothing. She just laid there, praying that it was going to end soon. Praying that it was over. 

Castiel pulled his hand back just as the lamp exploded. Jack woke with a start and began to cry. Cas grabbed him and held him close to his chest, wondering what had just happened. Jack’s power was still out of control, even after returning to childhood. They needed to figure this out quick, or it would only get worse. 

End of Day Two.


	6. Deanisms

Day Three.  
“3 days. In human years, that seems like an eternity.”  
“Well, yeah, you’ve been alive for five billion years,” Dean retorted. Cas gave him a side eyed glance.   
“Perhaps ignorance makes you brave,” Cas said.   
“Or maybe knowing that you’re going to die soon makes you more willing to change the world,” Dean said. “Once we’re gone, we’re gone. So, we may as well try our hardest to improve the world while we’re still here. You’re never going to be stuck in the same situation forever. You’re always moving and changing until one day, you make the big change and you’re gone. The only thing we have after that is what we leave behind.”  
“This is unusually deep for your table conversations,” Sam said, setting the plastic high chair down at the end of the table. “Last time you were talking about whether Betty Boop or Daphne was hotter.”   
“That was Dean. I was ignoring him,” Cas said, tilting his head up. Sam set Jack in the chair, strapping him in so he wouldn’t fall.   
“Well, I found out that they’re both sixteen and now I don’t want to think about it,” Dean said. “It wasn’t weird for teenager me but it is weird now that I’m 40. It’s like those kids that had crushes on Draco Malfoy and now they’re in their 50s and Draco is still a teenager to them. Creepy as hell.”   
“Don’t look up Supernatural fanfiction,” Sam muttered, setting Jack’s food on the plastic table attached to the high chair. “Trust me. You don’t want to know.”   
“Sam, what about you? Have an opinion on the impermanence of life?”  
“I do wonder about what the world is going to think of me when I’m gone,” Sam said. “Like… will my blog posts still be relevant? Or am I going to fade into nothing after I’m gone.”  
“I think the people we saved are our legacy,” Dean said. “Even if our names are forgotten, we get to live on through the good that we’ve done for the world. Nothing is forever. Not even Cas. And it doesn’t matter if we’re forgotten, because we existed while we did and we made the most of it. Sometimes being remembered is crap, anyways. You know what they did to Dumbledore. I’d rather be remembered for the good stuff I did rather than the crap.”   
“Gooo,” Jack responded, shaking his bee. It rattled.   
“Your opinion is valid,” Dean smiled. Jack giggled, hitting his toy against the tray.   
“We’re finally going to Mia’s,” Sam sighed. “I can’t wait until things get back to normal.”  
“Rowena said it was going to take some time,” Cas said. “We have to work with Jack. We can’t push him. We wait for him to be ready.”   
“This better not take another five billion years or I’m going to loose my shit. It’s taken long enough already. Usually three days is nothing for us, but this week has been so freaking long already.”   
“Patience, Dean,” Cas said. “Patience.” 

Mia Vallen’s therapy office hadn’t changed since the last time they had been there. It was homey, and comfortable. Mia was excited to see the now baby-fied Jack.   
“Adorable,” She smiled. “He’s so adorable.”   
“Meee-” Jack said, reaching out for her face. “Me!”   
“Does he remember me?” Mia asked, smiling. Sam and Dean looked at each other.   
“Your guess is as good as ours,” Sam said. “We have no idea what’s going on in his head.”  
“I’ve never seen a physical manifestation of trauma this intense,” Mia said. “And you’re saying that he’s been having psychic dreams and has been exploding lamps?”  
“Yeah. That’s just the top of the iceberg,” Dean said. “Rowena says that he’s going to be fine but we discovered that he has even less control over his powers as a baby. This kid has the power to blow up the universe, so we’re kind of hoping to fast track this.”   
“There won’t be an easy cure. I’m not sure if there will be a cure at all,” Mia said. “We can only hope that we will improve his life and bring him closer to where he needs to be.”   
“See!” Cas said sassily. Dean rolled his eyes.   
“Sit down. Let’s talk,” Mia said. The Winchesters sat down on the sofa, Sam holding Jack in his lap. Mia sat down in her chair, placing her clipboard on her lap. “Last time the three of you were here, we had some connection issues. I remember Jack was upset. Dean was rather angry. And Sam-”  
“I wasn’t angry,” Dean said. “It was fine.”   
“Dean, let her talk.”  
“No. This is fine. Dean, tell me why I’m wrong.”   
“I…” Dean’s face turned red. “I wasn’t angry! I don’t need to explain myself! I just wasn’t, okay? You… Cas, you weren’t here for this! You don’t know what it was like when you were gone! I thought- I thought that Jack had manipulated you or brainwashed you- you died protecting this kid you barely knew, for this woman you just met- I- I can’t believe you freaking left me like that! You abandoned me and Sam for this kid! And then you frickin’ died, and this kid is claiming that you loved him, that he called you dad- and I… I was left behind!”   
“What are you saying, Dean?”  
“I hated Jack, okay? I hated him! Because of you! And yeah, it was bad, but I thought that… I didn’t know… all I knew was that you were dead and that I was left here. I was drinking. I was bad, okay? So whatever I said or did, it... “  
“What did you do?!” Cas said, standing up. Jack began to cry.   
“I SAW HIM SELF HARMING AND I TOLD HIM I’D KILL HIM!” Dean yelled. There was a ringing silence. Cas fell backwards into his chair, covering his face. Jack continued to cry in Sam’s arms. “I don’t have an excuse for that. I know I screwed him up with that. I tried so hard to make it up later… when I knew… who he really was. I just get so angry… I’m angry all the time, and I needed somebody to be angry at.”   
“Then you should have been angry at Lucifer! Not Jack!” Cas said.   
“I… I’m sorry,” Dean said. He sat down again, burying his face in one of the pillows. Sam sat between them, Jack in his arms. Jack slowly stopped crying.   
“Dean… do you know where this anger comes from?” Mia asked. Dean shook his head, looking up from the pillow, his eyes pink. “The last time you were here, you talked about your father. You told me that you were afraid of being like him. Anger can be a symptom of fear.”  
“I loved my dad,” Dean said. “He just wasn’t the best. I… I was talking about Jack’s father. I said that Jack was going to be like his father.”  
“He wasn’t, was he?”  
“No.”  
“And neither are you,” Mia said. Dean sighed, squeezing his pillow. “Dean, have you considered that your father impacted the way you treat Jack? And maybe even the way you interact with the world around you?”  
“Yeah. I guess.”  
“The last time you were here, you said that you wouldn’t keep a journal because you weren’t a little girl. Where did that come from?”   
“Why am I being interrogated here?” Dean asked. “This is about Jack, not about me.”  
“Jack won’t improve until he can see others can improve,” Mia said. “There’s no way for him to talk at this age. Everything he sees around him is going to impact him greatly and change how he interacts with the world, the same way your upbringing has effected you.”   
“So… we take one for the team,” Sam smiled. Dean sighed.   
“We take one for the team,” Dean said, nodding. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right. My dad was crappy about gender roles and that stuff while I grew up. I still turned out okay.”   
“You have made yourself into a good person, Dean. That was your choice,” Mia said.   
“It was,” Dean agreed. “I chose to make my life about hunting. I wanted to do this. I still love it, even if I wanted a family of my own. Family and hunting don’t exactly work. I guess… the reason why I treated Jack like crap after Cas… left… was that I had found a family. In Cas and Sam. So Cas leaving was breaking up my family. And Jack entering the family was too much change at once, I guess. So I hated him. And I screwed up.”   
“You didn’t screw up, Dean. You made a mistake.”  
“It’s the same thing.”  
“But it means something different to you. Screwing up means that it cannot be undone. Mistake means that you weren’t in the right place, but that you can improve and work forward despite the mistake you made. If you continue to move forward and keep improving, despite what your past was and how it affected you, you can continue to grow and change as a person and as a father. You were afraid of being a paternal figure to Jack because you didn’t want to screw up. Now you have the chance to grow and learn.”   
“How is this gonna help Jack? I already scr- I mean, I already made that mistake. Me feeling better isn’t going to help him get past that.”   
“Yes, it will. Because if Jack can see you feel better and forgive yourself, and continue to work at being a better person, he’ll realize that he can do that too.”   
“Alright. Good,” Dean sighed. “Can you interrogate Cas now? I need a break.”  
Mia smiled. Dean sighed, letting out the air that he had been holding in his chest. The pain in his spine was gone, and he felt a little more comfortable, if not tired. He let go of the pillow, leaning back. Cas gave him an eyeroll. Dean smiled.   
Yeah. I can grow, despite my past. Despite everything, Dean thought. I can be a better person.


	7. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy Meeting Two

Day four.   
“GUYS!” Dean yelled. Sam and Cas rushed into Jack’s room, the door banging open. Dean was standing over the crib, in shock. Cas pushed past him to see Jack, who had grown a few inches during the night. Jack was now about four or five. His neck was longer, and he almost didn’t fit in the crib anymore, his sticking out of the bars.   
“He got bigger,” Sam said. “The therapy must be working!”   
“I guess… we put him back in his twin bed then?” Dean sighed. “The crib only lasted like four days.”   
“This is great. This means that we’re getting closer to Jack being an adult again,” Sam said. Cas reached in and lifted Jack out of the crib, carrying him to the bed.   
“We can only hope,” Cas said wearily. 

“Hello!” Mia said excitedly, kneeling down to see the now 40 inch tall Jack. She smiled. Jack smiled back, nervously.   
“Yesterday Jack was copying some of our words. He hasn’t talked at all since this morning.”   
“Maybe he’s starting to remember,” Mia said. She sat down. “Jack, can we talk?”  
Jack didn’t reply, holding onto Castiel’s coat tightly. Mia sighed, pulling paper and crayons out of a box and setting them in front of him.  
“The two of you seem very close,” Mia said to Cas. Cas nodded. “I believe that you’ve known Jack for a long time. You knew his mother.”  
“Yes, I did.”  
“How did her death affect you, Castiel?” Mia asked. Cas blanched.   
“It didn’t.”   
“A person you knew died and it didn’t affect you at all?” Mia asked.   
“She knew she was going to die. We had planned for this,” Cas said.   
“Even if you had a plan, even if you knew she was going to die, you were still her friend. Am I right?”  
“Yes,” Cas sighed. “I’m five billion years old. I’ve seen more death than you could imagine. I’ve seen empires rise and fall.”   
“You didn’t love those empires, did you?” Mia asked. Cas sighed.   
“No.”  
“Do you miss her?”  
“Of course. She was my friend. I’m fine, and we’re fine, because I know that Jack and Kelly will be together again.”  
“But not you.”  
“No.”  
“Why not?”  
“When I die, I go to a different place than the rest of them. Sam, Dean, Jack, Kelly, Mary… you… all go to Heaven. I go to the Empty. I know what you’re going to say about that. I know you think I’m cutting my emotions off but I’m fine with my destiny. I don’t mind death because I know my family will be happy, and as long as they are happy, I am, even if I can’t be with them.”   
“I still hear sadness in your voice.”  
“Of course I’m sad. I know my time is coming to an end. I know that I’m going to be separated from my family. I been alone for billions of years, I’m going to be fine knowing that I had this time with my family. I’m spending the time I have left the best I can.”   
“You seem to have closure with your death,” Mia said. “Have you considered the emotions of your family?”  
“Yes. There’s nothing I can do about that,” Cas said. “If I could join you, I would. But I have a path, and you have a path. At least we had these years, even if they were so short.”   
“You’re talking like you’re going to die tomorrow,” Dean said.  
“I may have hundreds of years before I need to worry, but humans are so fleeting. I know that Sam and Dean will likely die before me. I don’t want that. I don’t want to loose them, but I know they will find their time, and I will too.”   
“Cas, I… I kind of thought we’d find a way. You could stay in Heaven, and stay with us.”  
“Everything dies eventually,” Cas said. “I’m one of the only angels left. We have a time and a place, and it’s time for the angels to go and the universe to create something new. The universe is forever changing and we are forever moving forward.”   
“I don’t want to move forward,” Dean said quietly. He looked at Cas, tears welling in his eyes. “So… if I die, I’m just a flicker to you?”  
“No, Dean. I love you,” Cas said softly. Dean breathed out, his voice shaky. “I told you. These past years have been everything to me, and so are the years that are ahead of us. I want to live with every second meaning something. I want to see you smile, and I want to see you grow. But everything has a time, and our relationship is going to change and evolve, and eventually, end. We all end. And then we become something new.”   
“What if we’re not okay with that?” Sam asked. Cas sighed.   
“There’s nothing I can do to change it,” Cas said. “I love you. You are my family. That will never change for me. I will always love you. But the circumstances will change, and the world will change, and that’s the beauty of it. We are always moving forward. Always learning and growing and exploring and evolving. Jack shows us that we can keep growing. We will never stop loving and learning and being, even if that being is different than it was when we began.”   
“You seem very grounded,” Mia said. “I think that this is a positive thing for you, but I’d like to know what Jack thinks of this. Have you talked to him?”  
“Jack doesn’t want me to go. He doesn’t want anyone to die. I know he won’t understand it until he’s older, and even then, most people don’t. It’s not about understanding, it’s about acceptance. Everyone finds comfort in different ways. Some find it in religion, or an afterlife. Some find it in acceptance of chaos. Some find it in love. I hope Jack is able to find his own closure. I love him, and I want him to be happy even if I’m not there.”   
“I… understand,” Dean sighed. “I get it. But I can’t help but want to be with you. Forever. The system is screwed up and I know you can’t fix it but hell, I need you, Cas. I love you.”  
“I love you too, Dean,” Cas said. Mia smiled. “Maybe… someday. We’ll find a way.”

Cas tucked Jack into bed. He realized that Jack was holding a sheet of paper balled up into his hand. Cas took it out and flattened it on Jack's bedside table. It was Cas, with Kelly, Sam, Dean, Jack, Mary, and other people. Cas only knew from the haircolors and the attempt at clothes. Jack hadn't exactly perfected his art yet. He felt a pain in his chest, knowing that they hadn't really moved forward. Cas had accepted his reality a long time ago, and that was alright, but he suspected that Jack wouldn't grow tonight. However, Cas knew that he could try his best to be there for Jack, even if he already knew how the story would end. Or, at least, he thought he knew. Things could change. They always were changing. And sometimes the universe works in strange ways. But for now, Cas wasn't focused on the end. He wasn't worried about what would happen later. He was happy with the here and now, and right now he was tucking Jack into bed. 

He would like to be there, to be with Dean and Jack, and Sam... and everyone... forever. It would be a nice ending. But the ending doesn't matter to Cas. Only the blanket in his hands and the ground under his feet. Right now. Right now, he could spend time with his family. Right now, he could make the most of what time he has left. Right now, he is tucking Jack into bed.


	8. Homework Assignments

“Okay, hit me with your best shot,” Dean said. Mia’s dark eyes met his, a look of concern inside them that made Dean think that she had come to a conclusion. “Our situation is unique, okay. Jack can wipe people off the face of the Earth. He made the entire world tell the truth for an entire day when he was upset. We may seem harsh, but he’s explaining it in the tape.”  
“That’s not what I found disturbing,” Mia said. “I understand that you’re in a difficult situation, but I have major questions, Dean. I asked Jack how many times you, in particular, have threatened to kill him. Instead of giving me an answer, he tried to justify you. Even… especially with a special case like Jack, I don’t want to hear something like that. His fear is driving him into more anxiety and less control. The more he believes that he can be killed at any moment for making a mistake… the more likely it is that he will loose control of his powers. Everything involving tough love and threats needs to go out the window or we’re really going to loose control of Jack’s behavior. He’s acts differently around you because he’s scared of you. Even when you’re near him, and he’s in a safe environment, his stress seems to go up. He’s not able to deal with this type of discipline and it shouldn’t be your default when raising a child. Jack responds well to love, so you need to give it to him. Control his anger and fear by giving him a shoulder to cry on, not by telling him that if he makes a mistake, you will lock him up or kill him.”   
“Okay. Fine. Whatever,” Dean said, raising his hands. Mia glared at him.   
“We need change. Not whatever,” Mia said. Dean sighed. “Here’s a list of things you can say or do instead of giving threats to Jack. All of these will help Jack feel more comfortable and will improve your relationship with him.”  
“What am I doing wrong?” Sam asked. Mia looked at him, her eyes blank.   
“Um… Sam, Jack idolizes you so it may help to talk with him and let him see that you’re layered. You’re his hero and you need to help him realize that you are flawed and fallible too, to help him find his own self worth. Also, you could hug him more, and talk with him about self harm, which will support him.”   
“Alright,” Sam smiled, writing it down. Dean rolled his eyes.   
“Also, Sam, remember to voice your opinions,” Mia said. Sam scribbled down another note happily, content with having homework.   
“Castiel… Jack loves you. You’ve been the most consistent figure in his life and you’ve always been on his side, supporting him. Jack desperately needs that support system and he’s very lucky to have you. As Jack is still a minor, I’d like to ask you to be around for at least three days every week. You will often be in his life for a long length of time, then leave for several weeks or even months. This may be causing trust issues for Jack. Be open to talk with him about things you’d rather not talk about, like Kelly or even Sam and Dean, and make sure that you support him and his best interests, even if Jack himself doesn’t see them. You need to speak up when you see Jack harming himself or others by accident, and you need to explain to him what’s going wrong. Jack is like a lion cub, getting associated with the world by playing and he may not understand the full array of human emotions available to him.”  
“Alright.”  
“Jack…” Mia said. Jack looked up at her, his blue eyes showing his uncertainty at everything going on around him. “It’s alright if you don’t want to vocalize your struggles. It’s alright if you’d rather not talk at the moment. But remember, these three men love you and are willing to listen whenever you’re ready.”  
“Okay,” Jack said, looking down at his hands. Cas smiled softly. “I will.”


End file.
